A lot of numbers in our lives are a secret... our social security number, our bank PIN, for some people their age... and for most obese people... definitely weight.

When I was at my heaviest two years ago... the only person that knew how much I weighed was me. I definitely would not voluntarily divulge that information to anyone. Now that I know I will never see that number again... it's still hard to tell people... because I'm embarrassed that I let myself go that far.

Even as an overweight child... I was embarrassed about my weight. I have a distinct memory of being with my friends Kenny, Ryan and Tracy... we were probably 10 years old... outside on the deck at Tracy's house... Tracy brought the scale down from the bathroom and I refused to step on it because I knew I was probably 10-15 pounds heavier then the rest of the kids... I'm sure if I asked any of these 3 childhood friends... they wouldn't remember the incident where I jumped on my bike, went home in a storm crying because they were teasing me that I wouldn't weigh myself when everyone else did.

I'll admit it now... in the past when I've filled out forms that asked for my height and weight... I didn't report my real weight. I remember getting my bindings adjusted on my skis in high school and taking 20 pounds off the weight I told the ski tech... it made me feel less embarrassed and I figured... really would it make that much difference to the binding tension? It's not like I was going bungee jumping!

Being able to tell people my weight and not being ashamed about how much I weigh... is a triumph on so many levels.

If asked today, I have no problem divulging what my current weight is and then enjoying the shock on their face when I tell them how much weight I've lost... I still let people do the math in their head on what my original weight was because it's too embarrassing to actually say the number out loud.

What's in a number anyway? When it comes to weight... for some... obviously a lot of baggage and shame. Once I reach my goal weight this summer... of 142.5 pounds (1/2 of my original weight)... I hope my number shame goes away completely and forever.