There was a time (not too long ago) that I never expected to ever fit into clothes from a "skinny store". I'm not talking the mainstream stores like Old Navy... I mean the stores like American Apparel (who seem to pride themselves on having wafers as models). Just on principal alone... I never thought I'd support a store that pimps out wafer models... but I admit it... I shop at American Apparel... but I don't enjoy it (ok I do... but only to prove that women with boobs look better in their clothes then their models)! A couple weeks ago I was in despirate need to find a plain black shirt.. I knew American Apparel would have one... I walked in... looked at the sizes and thought... I'm definitely going to try this on to save myself from having to return it later.

I said to the sales person... "I'm kinda huge to be shopping in this store so I'll probably have to try the extra large." He looked at me with a stunned daze and said... "You'd be swimming in our extra large... definitely don't bother trying anything bigger than a large!"... I seriously wanted to kiss him right there... though the little wafer boy probably would have thought I was a cougar on the prowl so I opted to smile and trust his expertise. When I got into the dressing room... he was right... I fit into the large (well it hugged my curves but fit - I had snuck the extra large in too (just incase) and it was loose)... I would have never guessed that myself.

I still don't see a small person when I look in the mirror. When I see pictures of me near my thin friends and we are similar in size... I get it... but by myself with nothing to measure my size against... I just see me. I do like how I look in clothes now... and I feel better about my appearance... but to not see the plus size person in the reflection is a hard adjustment. When I'm shopping... I automatically go for larger sizes and then get in dressing rooms only to ask for a smaller size in amazement that I've shrunk again. The other day I bought medium running gear... it was weird... maybe one day I'll even be small!

One of the things I enjoy most about being smaller (other than feeling healthy and my endless energy)... is how easy it is to buy clothes. I no longer am limited to stores to buy from and when I try things on... I'm not concerned if it exagerates the parts of my body that I don't like (because those will always be there)... instead I just need to decide if I like the style because I'm usually fine with how the clothes fit (even jeans).