It's a weird feeling to continue to shrink. I now can shop at any store and I'm not so much concerned on if my size will be available by the designer or if the outfit will look good on me but more if I like the style. For people who have been overweight, you understand because larger people are very limited in the clothes that will fit them. Plus size females have about 3-4 store options (but for the longest time there were only 2 in Halifax). The market is expanding for plus size, but the options are not abundent like the "regular stores". There have been plenty of times over the years where I bought clothes... even though I didn't really like them... only because I had no other choice. That's sad.

For months, I've only been shopping at Old Navy because I've never had the option of roaming the entire mall... so I got into the habit of only shopping at one store... but now I am venturing out and just looking for outfits that I might want to wear. The other day I was out looking for summer skirts and I went into stores like Tommy, Esprit, MEXX, GAP, Eddie Bauer... all the designers that I've always wanted to wear but never dreamed I'd fit into. I tried clothes on at each store and they all fit (some were even too big)! It was exhilarating and really gave me something tangible to measure my success.

Now I shop at sports stores and buy workout geared that actually fits (instead of plus size sweats that look like a tent)! The first day I showed up at bootcamp (a couple weeks ago) with workout clothes that were actually my size the booty girls freaked out! They thought I had lost 30 pounds in a week! It's just because I actually wasn't hiding under oversized clothes anymore.

On Thursday, I was training with Gina and had run out of my form fitting workout gear so I pulled some of my big stuff off the shelf. I was so distracted about much bigger that I looked... as soon as I got home and threw them in the garbage!!!

Devin and I are trying to think up funny video ideas of what I should do with my big clothes once I reach my goal... brainstorming it has been fun! Most of my larger clothes... I've been giving away to friends or charity... but I'm keeping some huge pieces just for the entertainment value!

I'm trying not to shop anymore until I reach my goal in June because I'm not staying in clothes very long now. My friends are probably wondering why I recycle about 5 different outfits, but really it seems like a waste of money to continue to buy smaller clothes every month when I know they'll look like a big potatoe sack on me within 2 months. Gord and I are going to the United States this summer and I plan on buying all new clothes then... in my new size once I've met my goal.

I look in the mirror now and I still find it hard to conceptualize that I'm not obese. I can easily spend 5 minutes or more looking at myself in the morning at different angles and going "wow, this is crazy!" By June, I'll be at my goal weight (even the doctors will be happy with how much I weigh – which I don't think has happened since I was born) and life is going to be a lot different from me then. Instead of focusing on losing weight and exercising aggressively to ensure the goal is met, instead I'll be maintaining my body size "as is". I don't even know if I'll have anything to write about! Just joking, of course I will!

Even though I'm starting to recognize my body's changes, this morning it really hit home for me how small I've become. Gord and I have been together for 17 years and I've never been able to fit into his clothes. On occasion, his big sweatshirts may have fit, but never his pants (not that I wear his clothes in public... but I have tried his clothes on out of curiosity *for the record he does not wear my clothes* hahaha)! This morning, I'm in a rush to get to an appointment... I'm looking for my jeans. I start digging through the dirty clothes pile desperate to find something to throw on. The first pair of jeans I see, I pull them up, button and zip them, and then realize they are about 5 inches too long for me. Wait... these aren't my jeans... they are Gord's jeans! I started to laugh hysterically, ran downstairs and said to Gord... "Who's jeans do you think these are?" He couldn't believe it either. It made my day! It's moments like this that really make all this hard work worthwhile.