Now that I'm an athlete... ok that might still be a stretch... let me rephrase that... now that I'm more in shape... I find myself wanting to get back into sports that I used to enjoy. When I was in highschool and university, I used to ski a minimum of 3 times a week (sometimes more if I'd skip off school to hit the hills)... I was so addicted to skiing that during the "off season" I used to dream about the sensation of going down the hill, doing jumps with my friends, often the dream would turn into a reoccurring nightmare... where I flipped out of my skis and tumbled when I hit on grass because there wasn't enough snow on the hill to make it to the bottom (I've always had an active imagination and weird dreams about things that consume my thoughts)! I definitely plan on getting the dudes into ski lessons this year... I'm tempted to try snow boarding this winter too... just to see what all the hype is about... this summer I really want to start kayaking again and I definitely want to start surfing by next year (once I feel comfortable enough with my self-image to put on a wet suit)! Seems like a waste to live on the ocean, watch all the surfers in the morning and not do it myself. I've always been a strong swimmer... we grew up swimming in the ocean currents... but I never got on a board.

For a long time, the size of my body, the exhaustion of life from being overweight and my lack of self-esteem, limited me from participating in sports or physical activity. Now that I've lost a significant amount of weight, I'm constantly in awe of what my body can physically sustain and how much I enjoy physical activity. When I go for my run... the first kilometer is always hard... I'm stiff... I question why I do this to myself every time I set out... but usually by 3kms into my run... I'm transform into a robot and have to actually stop myself at 5kms... so then I don't fall into the pattern of overtraining again... because when the adrenaline hits... it's clear why I run... because it feels great.

I still do not have any real desire to play on teams... I'm not positive why that is because I'm a very social person... I think deep down the fat person inside of me doesn't think that I could live up to the expectations of everyone else. Maybe that will change in time... less than 10 months ago I never would have thought I'd want to run in marathons... and now I'm considering it. Becoming stronger and healthier really changes your priorities and confidence in what you can achieve and want to try.

I find now when I plan trips, there is no question part of my vacation will incorporate running or physical activity. This summer I'm going to New England to buy all new clothes at the outlets (doing my little part to help the American economy). I'd love to go to Mount Washington and hike... the last time we just drove up... looked around and said "wow what a view". Later this summer, I'm planning a trip with girlfriends to New York... and the game plan is to jog in Central Park for my 1 year anniversary of running. One of the girls going on the trip is Gina (my trainer)... a year ago I would have definitely not been planning a trip with my trainer... but it's funny how exercise brings people together to become good friends. This autumn, my cousin is getting married in Calgary and I can't wait to run the amazing paths in the city. I would have never thought that I would consider the highlight of a vacation the adrenaline rush I get from planned exercise... oh well could be worse! From now on when my bags are packed for a trip... my cross trainers and workout gear will be the first thing in the suitcase!