I'm officially changing my nickname from "Snow White" to "DJ Curves"!

When I first started working out with Devin, I didn't like to look at myself in the mirror when we were working out. Sad but true... a few times I actually asked Devin to stand directly in front of me so I wouldn't have to look at myself turn purple during weight training... and be reminded of the fat blob that I had become at the same time.

Now that I've lost 95 pounds, there are times where I don't even recognize my own reflection in the mirror. This week in hot yoga class I was trying to focus on a point in the mirror that was stable (in order to do a balancing pose). I stand at the back of the class, so all the reflections in the mirror at the front of the class pretty much looked the same... but at one point I found myself in the mirror among the crowd and couldn't believe how small I had become. I had to move my hand back and forth to make sure I was staring at the right person... low and behold the reflection in the mirror waved back... that small person in the mirror was me!!!

Gina is my workout partner on Thursdays (she's a personal trainer and more fit then any woman that I know). I can now stand next to a petite woman like her and not feel like a total mammoth of a woman. Now... I actually enjoy watching myself workout and focus on my form instead of being self-conscious of what I looked like doing a squat next to a woman who has a perfectly toned body. Last week I asked Devin if the mirror in his gym makes people look smaller then they are... he said no and asked me why... I told him couldn't believe what I looked like now. I am finally at the point where I feel comfortable with how I look (I'm not at my goal... but I feel good). I know that within 2 months I will reach my goal, so the last 25 lbs that I have to loose doesn't seem like a huge deal anymore... I know I'll get it off by continuing to work hard and remaining focused... and I've finally accepted the last few pounds are going to come off slower... so I just have to keep forging ahead!

The last 2 months have been hard to stay motivated because the scale really hasn't budged. The entire month of February I plateaued (I know everyone is probably thinking... get over it already... but it's hard to not obsess about my weight not reducing when I maintained a 8+ hour/week workout regime each week and continued to eat healthy... it's been frustrating). March went by and I fought the urge of stepping on the scale (until this morning). In the past, I was like a kid at Christmas with anticipation of 6am on Saturday morning. I would start my weekend by stepping on the scale. This morning I procrastinated, it was at least 6:30am before I finally took a deep breath and stepped on the scale for the end of month weigh-in. As it turns out, I only lost 5 pounds this month. I know it's a loss, but I was seriously disappointed, I laid back down in bed with a big sigh (actually a couple big sighs).

To compound my disappointment... I couldn't help but think... if I had lost 10 pounds this month, then I would have reached the 100 pound weight loss... I felt so close... but yet so far from achieving this goal. After I gave it more thought... I put myself in check. I don't have much weight left to reach my goal so it's not going to keep coming off in leaps and bounds like it used to... it was a bitter sweet victory this morning to loose 5 pounds in March, because on one hand I broke the plateau I was experiencing but on the other hand I'm only 5 pounds away from a huge milestone of loosing 100lbs (deep down, I wanted to break that milestone today). After a couple hours of feeling somewhat disappointed in not meeting the goal for March... I finally told myself, "oh well... I'll reach that 100 pound weight loss goal next month".

Even though I haven't physically lost a lot of weight, I know I'm a physically smaller and I'm actually starting to feel like I have curves that I've never had before... so it's all good! I guess the last 25 pounds might be more about curves and muscle definition and less about the scale. Once I reach my goal... I think I might sell the scale at our next yard sale (or smash it with a hammer *hahaha*)