A couple months ago a friend of mine from high school (Gordo Rothenburg) commented on my facebook status about going for a run... he asked me point blank... what was I running from? I honestly wasn't sure, but I think he had a point and it really got me thinking. I just didn't know why I was running... was I running from something or to something... until this morning... it came to me (of course... during my run).

The truth is, I am running away from a lot. For 30 minutes a day, I crank my favorite music on my iPod and forget about all my responsibilities – and that in itself is a high for me. As a mom of twin boys I find being a parent is challenging at the best of times, being married (and everything that comes along with being in a relationship is work), and then there are bills: mortgage, childcare for 2 kids, 2 car loans, credit cards, taxes, lines of credit... all money I pay out each month and accept is a part of life... and then the added stress of being a business woman and the responsibility of making enough money to sustain our lifestyle takes a lot of effort... then there are the clients (not all of them but some of them) who think they should have 24-7 access to me... getting Sunday evening calls when my studio hours are Monday to Friday really gets old after a couple years... when you add it all together.... it takes a toll on the care-free person I've always been.

For those of you that have known me for 15 or more years, you know that I love to be the life of the party, traveling is important to me, climbing the corporate ladder gives me great pleasure, and of course I've always enjoyed being the center of attention in any situation and telling exagerated stories (that's probably why I loved teaching so much).

I've always had enough energy to make wind turbines run at full capacity... but when I had the twins 4 years ago... my life changed dramatically. During my maternity leave, I went from self confident, successful corporate girl to frumpy, stay-at-home mom. It's not the kids fault, it's just they exhausted me... I had no idea the effort it would take to be a parent... and I temporarily lost my self identity. Parenting is rewarding at times, but lets be honest it also can transform you into a mere shadow of the person you used to be.

Earlier this year when I knew my 35th birthday was fast approaching, I decided to make some changes. I didn't want my lifestyle to continue going in the direction it was heading. I had no energy, I was unhappy and even my ability to carry on a conversation had diminished to the point where I avoided people because it required too much effort to come up with things to talk about.

So in August, I started to jog. At first it was really difficult moving the sheer weight of my body, but the pounds started to melt, my muscles got stronger and the running became easier. At first I needed a running buddy (Kelly Creelman) by my side in order to get the motivation to hit the 4km mark everyday... but now it's a habit... and I can do it by myself (though I still do prefer exercising with a companion – everything in life is better with a partner)! Lately... after I finish my 4km exercise with Kelly... now I go do another 4km by myself... it's my time to be alone... and I really enjoy it.

Now I run intervals almost everyday. The first kilometer my muscles are tight and I question why I do this to myself... then I get into my grove and the adrenaline kicks in when my heart rate reaches about 175 beats per minute... and my hair follicles tingle at about the 2km mark... and then the last kilometer I'm so proud of myself for completing it... and it turns my entire day around.

I am an adrenaline junkie. When I look at the things I have enjoyed most in my life... they all involve adrenaline... whether it's traveling by myself to unknown cities or standing in front of a group of people and presenting... I love the feeling adrenaline brings and jogging does this for me.

My confidence is back and though I sometimes feel selfish with the decisions I make like working out until 10:30am every morning...I don't care! I make so many sacrifices in my life for others... it's time for me to do some things for myself.

So I guess I am running away from some things... but by the end of the run... I'm running to something as well... euphoria... which is a great way to start the day.

Watch out world... I'm back... and better than ever!